when i did leave home i didn’t take a lot with me. i had to do quite a bit of planning in order to get out though. there was no way i could just walk through the front door without causing a scene. tal would be in tears, begging me not to go. he would question why i was leaving, where i was going, if he could come along, and other questions of the sort. mum would be in a fit of hysterics as well, telling me to get back in the house and to stop my nonsense. there would be a disapproving look on her face as well, one that she gave me all too often when i did something with tal that she didn’t think he should be doing. as for dad, well he probably would have just stayed seated on his leather chair with the paper still in hand. he probably would have just called out from behind his paper to let me go and see how cruel the world really is. that is if he did say anything. or perhaps he would have grown a backbone and told me to get my sorry arse back in the house and to go to my room. that would have really been a miracle to observe. either way i didn’t want any of that to happen. i needed to be gone without anyone knowing. so what i did was wait. i found the perfect opportunity though when there was a day off from school mum had decided to take tal to the park to keep him entertained. i feigned being sick and was left at home. dad was still at work and so it left me the house to myself. as soon as i saw that mum and tal were gone i rushed up to my room, knowing there were only so many things i could take. i grabbed my school backpack, which was finally going to be of use to me, and began stuffing my clothes inside. i took a few pairs of pants and some shirts. just the bare necessities. no one would be paying attention to the way i dressed anyways. i made sure to grab a few of my toys, if only for sentimental reasons. i was only able to fit in my toy sword along with a few little toy cars. i didn’t own any of my sports equipment, seeing as they belonged to the school, so i just left them behind. i knew i’d be able to get anything i wanted soon enough so why not get new gear?
with my backpack packed i made sure to leave my room looking nice and neat, so that for once mum would see it the way she wanted. call it a goodbye gift or me being a stupid little kid, but i actually made my bed for once. tal wouldn’t have to do it for a long time anyways. i looked over the room once more, knowing that i would never go back again. i could never go back again. it wasn’t where i belonged. after i closed my bedroom door i went downstairs to raid the kitchen. i only grabbed a few snacks, knowing that if i did get high again i would have the munchies. i didn’t want to take too much though, that would only alarm my family. if anything they would think that i had just gone off to play sports with my friends because i had started feeling better. that would give me the needed time to really get away from home and not be seen again. with everything finally in my backpack i left through the front door, closing it quickly without ever looking back. i took off to the one neighborhood i had first gone to with my friends when we got our first high. i would be living there. that was the plan anyways. things were simple at first. i never really had a bedroom to call my own or even a bedset with dressers and desks. instead i just slept on the floor with a sleeping bag that was provided. it wasn’t too terrible. i learned that i needed to be on constant alert and ready to get up and leave everything immediately. if the pigs ever got wind of our location we would all be arrested and thrown in jail. it didn’t matter how young i was. even if it meant juvie i would be there for a long time. even though i wasn’t old enough to be tried as an adult i was old enough to know what i was doing and getting myself into. i was never caught though. there were a few close calls where the place i had been staying at was raided but i was never discovered, not even my stuff or money. someone else always seemed to take the fall. sometimes it was planned and other times it wasn’t. when it was planned it would look like a setup, so that the pigs had been given the wrong information. when it wasn’t planned though things were bad. losing another dealer who had access to a source didn’t make life any easier.
people came and went in my life. not that they were close to me but they were a semblance of a family who actually supported me and what i did. sometimes they could make condescending remarks but i held my own against them. they had nothing on my mum or dad and the way they acted towards me. i got to a point where i would move if only out of habit. i felt like i wasn’t going to be safe because i had been hanging around the same spot for too long. it was fun though to be in a new place every so often. i met the most interesting people. that’s when i really got to use my charms and social skills. i could converse with just about anyone. add on the fact that i was a cute little kid, or rather young man, and some people were smitten by the fact that i knew so much about the world around me that they couldn’t help but want to be in my presence. that also made for new customers who would want to buy.